When the change happens you almost don’t believe it. It can’t be real. None of this is real. It is an elaborate dream and you just believe it is that real. It could happen, right? Right. Totally.
But the problem is the fact that it’s not a dream. It isn’t some weird part of your brain that thinks you’re some sort of comic book character. It’s real life and that is super freaky. That just doesn’t happen. And you don’t even read comics so how can this be?
But others are going through it too. Your new friends, your roommate, pretty much everyone that you’ve just met and started hanging out with. Maybe Boston was just weird. Maybe you shouldn’t have come here in the first place because this never happened before you were here. And when you find out how long it’s been going on, yeah, you should have stayed away. But the problem with that is that you are happy here. Even if this is weird. Weird you can handle. You’ve handled it in the past.
Your head is throbbing now because you’re thinking about it too much. You’ve been told that fighting it only makes it worse and you can say from experience that is true. But really, you don’t want this person inside of your head. You don’t want to be inside of hers. Even though you have some things in common, it’s not like you want to be best friends with her. She’s almost like you but… different. And she really doesn’t want to be here either. From what you’ve gathered when you let her actually have a chance to speak out. It’s rare but she’s managed to trickle in on more than one occasion.
And yeah, she’s not all bad. She’s sort of a bad ass and she’s smart. She’s not afraid to stand up for herself and that’s good! You just don’t want to be sharing a body with her like it’s some Freaky Friday sort of deal. That’s not how you want this to work. Although it is a one-sided sort of Freaky Friday deal but still.
Instead you just focus on the music. That is the one thing that makes you feel a little bit better among this sea of dizzying thoughts. The strum of the guitar is the one thing that is keeping you together so you don’t go completely insane. So you play and play until your fingers bleed. And even then, you can still sing to get through it. You can still write down new lyrics and work through your issues through the prose of the verses. It’s calming and you like that.
And even though you should probably get out and socialize like a normal human being you’re not normal. You’d rather be by yourself right now until you figure… you out. As if figuring one person out wasn’t bad enough now you’re dealing with two. And then the headache comes back again and you can’t write and your fingers are callused so you can’t play. So you’re alone again with your thoughts.
And maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe it will get better, at least that’s what you keep hearing. It is right to be optimistic about it. But you wonder what will happen when this is all over. And how the week started. And how that will play out. Not well, you assume, but you never know. Maybe it’ll all just breeze over and you can go back to normal life like it never even happened. You doubt it but you are hopeful. It is a strange thought but it could happen.